


Rabbit Food

by Daggoo, Lokisgame



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 19:04:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daggoo/pseuds/Daggoo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokisgame/pseuds/Lokisgame
Summary: Mulder dreamed about the The Chaco Chicken case. The image of Scully with her head on the ax post brought all the revolting events of that week back, leaving him rattled to the core. It crawled under his skin, triggering weirdest reactions to things that never bothered him before.





	Rabbit Food

**Author's Note:**

> A conversation on Discord gone mad, resulting in this silly little thing. Thanks to Baroness_Blixen who teased a prompt about "Our Town" and started all this.  
> I know the timeline is screwed up, but it was too much fun to change it once it was done.

Mulder dreamed about the The Chaco Chicken case. The image of Scully with her head on the ax post brought all the revolting events of that week back, leaving him rattled to the core. It crawled under his skin, triggering weirdest reactions to things that never bothered him before. He passed a McDonalds and the scent of fried oil almost made him gag. The very thought of something as innocent as cold cuts filled him with revulsion, the name Mad Cow's Disease lodged into his brain on repeat. He lost his appetite for most of the weekend, and he'd probably starve if he hadn't walked past a fresh produce stand, blinded by colors, yellow peppers, pale kale, fresh made salads. He never thought he'd say it, but fresh cucumber and tomato salad sounded like heaven just about now. He bought the things he remembered his mother tried to make them eat, him and Sam, both of them grimacing at the sight of boiled broccoli, peas and carrots, yuck. He paid and smiled, his stomach growling in anticipation, glad Scully didn't see him. Oh she'd gloat alright.  
He went home, cooked some pasta he found in the back of the cabinet, boiled the broccoli and with a sprinkling of cheese (God bless frozen pizza leftovers in the fridge) dug in. He couldn't remember anything tasting that good in years. 

Mondays were sometimes tricky, finishing off reports from last week took away from lunch time, but they usually were prepared for it.  
Scully took out her green salad, trying not to look at Mulder who's pastrami on rye sandwich would probably make her gag. She couldn't believe how people were capable of eating other people, hating the idea with every muscle cell of her body. A shiver went through her, and she let it take the thought with it. She sprinkled the salad with minimal amount of dressing, and was about to eat when a sharp crack of thin plastic rolled like thunder through the basement office.  
On the other side of the desk Mulder was opening his own salad. Cucumber, tomatoes, iceberg lettuce, thin stripes of carrots, obviously bought not hand made, but nevertheless, for Mulder it was the culinary equivalent of going on a date. She never saw him eat a salad before, thoroughly convinced that the only way he consumed vegetables was when they were hidden between two slices of wheat bun and a nice piece of beef and cheese. 

He could see her from the corner of his eye, fork frozen mid-way between her mouth and makeshift plate. He was kind of expecting it, but still the blush began to creep in.  
"Are you okay?" Scully asked and he ignored her dubious tone, dousing the vegetables in prepackaged herbs and oil dressing. To be honest, he kind of began to warm up to this rabbit diet, it didn't make him feel full like a steak, but it definitely wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.  
"Yeah, why?" he played dumb, knowing perfectly well what she meant.  
"Green food Mulder?" she wouldn't let it slide, she finally got her chance at payback "Is there something wrong with your stomach?" he kept his head low, his full attention to the salad "or is it your head"  
He looked up at that and going for cold stare he almost smiled seeing mirth dancing from her eyes to her lips and back.  
"I'm fine" he gave her standard reply, aware of the roles changed.  
"Who are you and what have you done with Mulder?" she teased and reached for his Rolodex, flipping through it until she found what she was looking for and picked up the phone.  
"Who are you calling?" he didn't think she'd call the mad squad, not even as a joke.  
"I need to make sure Eddie "Silent H" Van Blundht is still locked up"  
She positively grinned as he loaded a mouthful of lettuce and cucumbers into his mouth and mumbled around it "Very funny"  
Scully hung up the phone and started on her own food, her good humor radiating from the other side of the desk.  
"You know, if I were Eddie the Shapeshifter" he stabbed various pieces avoiding her gaze "would I be talking about food?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"You could try to kiss me again and see if I'd come in, crashing through the door, to stop you" He chanced a glance in her direction and was hit with full force of her arched eyebrow.  
"Shut up, Mulder" but it was a fond kind of shut up, both of them smiling now.  
He went back to his food, head bowed, grin wide "Just saying it's faster, that's all"  
"Eat your salad"  
They ate in companionable silence for a while, Scully balancing a shoe on her toes, Mulder chasing kernels of corn around the box.  
Afraid of losing his nerve he spoke slowly, keeping his head down "They opened a new sushi place down the block from my apartment, wanna come?"  
He tried to sound as casual as ever, but it was obvious she'll see right through him.  
"Can't look at meet, can you" she asked instead of answering and smiled as he shook his head and grimaced around the last bite of his first salad on Scully's watch. 

Two weeks later they were sitting at a diner and Scully watched Mulder sink his teeth into a big, fat cheeseburger. She knew it wouldn't last, his dietary habits were too deeply rooted to change overnight.  
"I guess your vegetarian days are over" she said to herself sighing quietly, playing with pieces of beetroot in her salad.  
A quick swipe of hand made her look up as Mulder stole a cocktail tomato from her plate and popped it into his mouth, smiling at her. He never teased her about her rabbit food ever again.


End file.
